Starting, How Do I Start?

BE SLENDER
Since it is Wednesday, I find it difficult to start. Don't diets start on Monday? Every time I have eaten too much on a weekend, I have told myself it is okay because I'm starting my diet on Monday. The only time I didn't say this was when I went to a luxurious brunch in San Francisco and my friend, a nurse, had brought a big box of laxative gum to take after the meal. She had worked with anorexics and learned their skinny secrets. A box of laxatives rushes the food through, saving a few hundred calories from their thighs. It worked and did it a few more times until after eating a huge meal I mixed water pills and laxatives hoping for an even better result. My fingernails and toenails turned yellow. I just missed becoming a liver failure statistic. I wanted to still fit into my clothes the next day, not attend my own funeral.
I'm drinking a bottle of diet lemon aid that I just mixed. I could use it to kick start things with a fast.
BE SLENDER Detox Lemonade Recipe:
64 oz distilled water
2 or 3 drops of liquid Cayenne
Juice from 1 or 2 organic lemons
2 packets of stevia sweetener or 1 tablespoon of organic, grade "B" maple syrup
Shake it up and drink it all day. Add a tea bag of organic dandelion root to the container of Lemon Aid and you can lose up to five pounds of water weight if you are retaining water.

If you have been eating a lot of junk foods, you can be certain there is plenty of water retention going on. 64 oz. of drink can cause you to drop five pounds of water bloat within 24 hours.
I am determined to get my weight down. An ancient proverb says that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. I'M READY! I know this fifty or so pounds I've gained is not all water weight.

April 29, 2008

I believe 134 LBS is the correct weight for my 5'7-1/2" body because I looked well and weighed a little less than this during my twenties. According to the BMI calculations, at 134 lbs. my BMI is 21 at that weight, which is healthy for my height.

I am like most other weight watching Americans. I can ignore the upward creep of my weight until I’m no longer able to delude myself into believing that I still look okay. Too many photographs seem to have been taken at an extremely unflattering angle and there are other certain signals…

As a woman, to know if denial has set in, the first litmus test for the “Am I too fat?” query, is to ask:

· When was the last time I was whistled at?

Another is:

· Are men are taking a second glance at me as I pass them to see what my rear view is?

My answers:

· Last whistle was May 2006,

· last “second look” also May 2006.

The truth:

· Men are not interested anymore. I must be fat. This may sound crude and shallow, but it is the truth.

Women like to be noticed, maybe not as potential rape victims, but just noticed, even admired a little. I’m normal and have, as Audrey Hepburn put it, “normal feminine vanity”. At anything over 155 lbs, I become absolutely invisible. The nice hair, lovely bosom, and pleasant face are also invisible. It's amazing but true, and I don't like it. When I am eighty years old, if cosmetic surgery can't make a dent in my looks, I will have to give in to being invisible, but not now, not yet, and not just because I want to eat too much or devour the wrong things! I’m not truly OLD yet, although that may be another subject for discussions on denial at some point.

Anyway, Today I have decided to delude myself no more. A before picture can be great inspiration. I would like to remain somewhat anonymous for a while, because this is extremely embarrassing for me and I am keeping this blog more to keep myself accountable and as a record of my progress.