Starting, How Do I Start?

BE SLENDER
Since it is Wednesday, I find it difficult to start. Don't diets start on Monday? Every time I have eaten too much on a weekend, I have told myself it is okay because I'm starting my diet on Monday. The only time I didn't say this was when I went to a luxurious brunch in San Francisco and my friend, a nurse, had brought a big box of laxative gum to take after the meal. She had worked with anorexics and learned their skinny secrets. A box of laxatives rushes the food through, saving a few hundred calories from their thighs. It worked and did it a few more times until after eating a huge meal I mixed water pills and laxatives hoping for an even better result. My fingernails and toenails turned yellow. I just missed becoming a liver failure statistic. I wanted to still fit into my clothes the next day, not attend my own funeral.
I'm drinking a bottle of diet lemon aid that I just mixed. I could use it to kick start things with a fast.
BE SLENDER Detox Lemonade Recipe:
64 oz distilled water
2 or 3 drops of liquid Cayenne
Juice from 1 or 2 organic lemons
2 packets of stevia sweetener or 1 tablespoon of organic, grade "B" maple syrup
Shake it up and drink it all day. Add a tea bag of organic dandelion root to the container of Lemon Aid and you can lose up to five pounds of water weight if you are retaining water.

If you have been eating a lot of junk foods, you can be certain there is plenty of water retention going on. 64 oz. of drink can cause you to drop five pounds of water bloat within 24 hours.
I am determined to get my weight down. An ancient proverb says that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. I'M READY! I know this fifty or so pounds I've gained is not all water weight.